We went to Florida to stay at my brother's house for three weeks in
February when Holden was 4. My Mom and her husband had been there since
before Christmas and my brother and his wife had to be out of town for a
week, so of course we would be happy to come and stay. Mom bought our
tickets . Within the first week, Holden had pneumonia, (he's asthmatic)
and my Mom's husband, who was in poor health, was scheduled for surgery.
Mel did not survive, Holden was like the energizer bunny on speed
(albeuterole inhaler 4 X's a day). We did an excellent job of dealing
with the death around Holden. In fact, he didn't have a clue. Until 2
months later. . While we were out for a walk he asked when Papa Mel
would be home from Florida , and I explained that he wouldn't be because
he had died.OH, THAT'S NOT VERY GOOD was his response.
The
next day in the car....GRANDMA, GRANDMA, WHY DIDN'T GOD MAKE
STRAWBERRIES BLUE? I guess because he already had blueberries. And
without missing a beat--WHY DID PAPA MEL GET DEAD? Well, because now he
can be with God and he isn't sick anymore and he even has 2 legs again
so he can run across Heaven. OH, BUT I CAN'T FEELD HIM ANYMORE. Yes
you can. He is in your heart, put your hand there and you will feel
him. I CAN FEELD HIM, BUT HOW DID HE GET THERE? God let him be there.
BUT IF GOD CAN DO THAT, WHY CAN'T HE MAKE HIM NOT BE DEAD?......Back
seat conversations are not for the weak.
THIS MUCH I
KNOW: Everyone mourns in their own way, no one way is right or wrong.
But it is impossible to feel sad for very long with a three year old in
the house.
My step father was the same age I will be when Holden
graduates from high school. I need to take better care of myself so
that I do not become prematurely old.
Friday, August 30, 2013
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