ALWAYS CHALLENGE AN IRRESISTIBLE URGE

This blog belongs to AARP or Gens. United.  Maybe Society on Aging more than Raising a Grandchild, but since its my blog, I can write what I want.

I woke up to a beautiful layer of fluffy snow on the ground and hanging heavily on the trees.  I had the irresistible urge to dig out my cross country skis and go off through the woods on our property. Before taking full time parenting of Holden I would spend hours making trails and even following to river through the neighboring properties until I reached the City Campground.  Once Holden was here, I didnt have 5 minutes to get my skiis on, let alone and hour to use them.  The same goes for my long solitary walks I used to take.  My weight, my mood and my stamina (not to mention cholesterol)  all reflect this lack of time.  So, I am determined to change-today-all at once.  Holden is in school, and Ed is capable of protecting hearth and home (and answering the phone).

Getting ready was a trip in itself.  I never did own the proper attire to go out in public when I was bundled, but if a backboard and snowmobile were required for rescue I was at least presentable.  The last remaining pair of leggings I owned were in the bottom of the "what if I lose lots of weight and I might want to wear these again" box.  Did you know that the elastic waistbands deteriorate on those things with out the butt expanding as well?  I safety pinned them up, pulled on a pair of sweatpants and wool socks and went off in search of mittens and hat. Donning a red hat, one blue and one red mitten-the blue one worn upside down because they were both right hands, and a brown/black/green "Boarders" parka circa 1990 that one of the kids left around, I began the grunting to tie my boots.  As soon as I got to the door I had to go to the bathroom.

Aaaaannnnddddd Im out the door.  My skis are on.  My poles are wrapped around my wrists.   I learned a lot by the time I left the driveway and reached the woods.  I learned that 24 degrees is really cold.  If you go under those beautiful snow covered limbs, they will inevitably drop their fluff down the back of your neck.  I learned that my 62 yr. old body did not retain the memory of a fluid gliding motion I was hoping to find.  It is not like riding a bike.  It is more like falling off a horse.  And fall I did.  At the point farthest from the house.  And like with a horse, it hurts.  It is not a soft tumble but a stiff flailing that sends shock waves from your knees to your elbows, up your spine and into your neck.  But, not to worry, I had plenty of time to assess my pain because like that gliding motion my body forgot, it also couldnt remember how to get up.    I  finally decided it would be easier to take my ski off and stand.  Did you know that not only do non stick skis get sticky (hence the fall) over the years, sometimes the little button you push to release the ski also sticks.  I really wish I had not double knotted my boot.  I wish my back didnt hurt so I could reach it for both the untying and the retying.  I had to get up.  Even though I now carry a cell phone, I would never call for help. Ed would not stop laughing long enough to come to my rescue Remember the snowmobile and back board?  That means a paramedic has to be driving.  With my strict code of fashion I couldnt possibly let someone see me like that.  And you remember what you were always told about your underwear. Something else I forgot-it is a gradual downhill trip to the River bank, and a mountainous climb uphill to go the 1/2 mile back.

Did I really  only  go a mile?  Surely the curves in the path must add more.  I have a blister, my big toes and little fingers "feel" frostbitten, my nose and cheeks no longer get that hint of pink, but are more of a purple and my range of motion is definitely reduced when trying to keep from landing on my face.  But you know what?  I will do it again tomorrow.  Because thats how habits are made.  Good ones and bad ones.  Repetition.  Doing the same thing over and over until it feels right. And although my body has lost that memory, my mind has not.  I still have those crazy insane dreams of running again, because it felt so good when I reached that "groove".

 Maybe I will get a pair of skis for Holden.  And maybe a pair for Ed.  But next time, I will try to remember to look up and notice the beauty of the woods in winter